The problems do not simply exist in our goal to become better people, because we should all strive for that! The problems occur when our codependence to others become so important to us that we sacrifice our own personal integrity to build a perfect "looking"pedestal for ourselves and we only look like we are better people to others.
Now, imagine that each of those elements or parts that make up the legs and foundation of the pedestal have a small integrity issue. Maybe one part was built on a lie or another was built there to forget a past experience after you ignored an important issue. Maybe another was built from a broken bridge or a neglected relationship, and so on... Soon, your pedestal is built with great structural problems and it is very weak. It becomes very difficult to stand on every single day. The possibility of falling off is real & will hurt to the point of making it almost impossible to get up and begin to rebuild.