I had almost successfully removed the pedestal from underneath me that I had built there. The pedestal that the perfect ME resides most of the time. That was until I was so close to standing firmly on my own two feet again, and then I had simply lost it. I fell down... HARD! Instead of just climbing right back on top of it, I decided it was too hard to do, and besides... I truly didn't care what others thought about me, or did I? I made a conscious decision to destroy the unstable pedestal that remained in my heart with kerosene and a vengeance.
It became a huge struggle for me to keep others in my life from noticing that I had fallen and it didn't take long for me to start thinking I wasn't good enough to stand so tall anyhow. This led me to start thinking about this metaphor of a "pedestal" more clearly. Was this metaphor an excuse for me to fall down, or was this metaphor a challenge to live my life without it? After all, I didn't even really notice the pedestal that I was standing on until I had fallen off of it.
My "pedestal" metaphor might be someone else's "rock bottom"... or, it may simply be my mountain top or success.
