Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Allison's Two Children

My oldest daughter, Allison moved back home, and I say moved back when I actually mean that she moved into the tiny house in my back yard, along with her long time boyfriend, their giant Mastiff, and their very teeny tiny Pomeranian. It's been 2 months since their lives temporarily fell apart due to two crazies from a certain Idaho town known specifically for crazies. Who knew? They were able to recover some of their belongings thanks to the local PD arresting one of the ranting crazies for... well, being crazy! and they have seemed to have put the whole horrifying experience behind them and are moving on. It's never easy starting over and downsizing as much as they had to in order to fit their family into the tiny house in my back yard, which they lovingly call home now. Back to the dogs that they call children/fur babies/spoiled rotten puppies. (Ok, that last one was me!) After Kylie re-homed her dog, Sox when she was so sick a few months ago and in July, we had to put our 15 year old family Shih-Tzu down, I was pleased, relieved, and super excited to have no dogs to care for once again, because let's face it, your kids get them, but we all know who ends up taking care of them! I never realized how much work they were until they were all gone! Before I could even eliminate the family job position of "pooper scooper", Allison was back and along came Rome, the Mastiff who forgets he isn't a person, forgets to close his mouth, so giant buckets of slobber does not pour out, forgets that when he takes a seat on the couch, he will need to take in account that he will need more room than most people, and forgets that the wag of his tail can take out a small child. Then, there is Lacy, a snooty little Pomeranian who thinks the world is HER muse, not the other way around, who is a master escape artist, she can get under any fence or gate, only to freak everyone out while she out-runs any dog catcher on the planet... only to end up at my front door wondering why no one has let her in yet! She is a real piece of work. I spent all day Monday vacuuming dog hair from my couches, mopping drool off my floors, and I knew it was time to put my foot down before I got the crazies too! NEW RULE: The dogs needed to stay out in their tiny house or in the backyard. At the beginning of the cleaning rampage, I was hot with livid fury, as the rain poured down and continued, I imagined that giant dog and pretentious,"I am too good for this tiny house" Lacy cooped up and I felt kind of bad. Then their parents let them out, and I have to tell ya, it was hard watching their sad, pathetic faces at my back door, while it continued to pour down rain, regardless of their perfectly lovely dog house. The next morning, I had a change of heart, maybe just let them in occasionally was my first thought. That would be fair, was my second thought, so in they came and Lacy immediately threw up on my rug. Needless to say, I don't feel bad for their sad little needy faces at my back door anymore, but I think I have finally accepted the simple fact that "some kids give you grand babies while some kids give you dogs that they call grand babies"~AM