Kindness and Silly Styles

Being kind to others can be difficult at times. Everyone is different and It's easy to take things the wrong way. It could've just been a bad day when you looked down at the string around your wrist and remembered to be kind after the damage had already been done. It's never too late to realize that your actions affect others that in turn, will affect you. You will be well on your way to building a weak pedestal. It might be too late to mend the broken bridge, but a sincere apology will always add integrity to your very own foundation.

Early 80's style frames are making a comeback!! (I told them they looked cute, just to be kind! :)

A Small Tool

I have discovered something very important and I am super excited to share! I have realized that since I've  been going back and experiencing the processes of codependency the last couple of days with my readers, I find myself striving once again to make sure that my line hasn't been crossed and again focusing on making decisions in my everyday life to genuinely be better, maybe work on my sturdy pedestal? I have decided to tie a string around my wrist. Do you remember when George Bailey's uncle tied a string around his finger in order to remember to deposit the money in the movie, "Its A Wonderful Life"? The string around my wrist will become a reminder to me in the same way, as feeding into codependency becomes so natural, it is hard to remember to stop and realize the reasons for doing things. I will look at the string around my wrist and immediately I will remember my place and my limits in this particular situation in my life at this very moment.

 It was hard letting go today as Lopez took Kylie to her ob appointment for the first time today without me. I felt like this was an opportunity for me to step back a little since we had already figured out what to do about her failed IV over the past couple of days. We will try liquid Zofran into her G-tube in hopes of helping with the nausea just as the IV was doing before it failed, in hopes of avoiding a PICC line. She really didn't need me to go with and advocate for her TODAY anyway. Lopez was perfectly capable being there for Kylie.

I have to admit, my heart was a bit sad that I wasn't there when they told me that the baby's heart rate was a strong and healthy 167 BPM. Although, as I heard that and imagined the joy they shared together, all of the stress and sleepless nights the past five weeks seemed to be completely worth it!     10 weeks:

Kindness To The Cheaters

I received an enduring message from one of my faithful readers yesterday. She reminded me that is a daily struggle to not care what others think of her sometimes. She also pointed out that she finds herself doing the complete opposite and not even trying at all to the point of being selfish and uncaring. 

I think we all can relate to that. There is a line somewhere between where codependency to others can help you become a better, more genuine person or  it can become toxic to yourself and to others.

Remember my pedestal metaphor? An un sturdy pedestal made up of pieces with structural instability. Every unstable piece resulted from a lie or a broken bridge, and so on... You need to remember that these actions have ultimately caused someone else to hurt in some way. If and when you ever fall from your rickety pedestal, the ones you hurt to build the pedestal in which you reside are going to be the last ones that offer to help you back up!

No one knows exactly where that line is, but it is possible to focus on a strong foundation. Do not build a pedestal at all if its not going to be as strong as your own two feet on the ground. 

How do you build a strong foundation? Always be kind to others. It's not about you having been cheated on, it's not about your accomplishments or what you  you are doing to improve your life. Its simple, just be kind to others!

Using A Pedestal As A Metaphor

Imagine that every single element of yourself produces a piece of a pedestal or parts of a small stool that is used to stand on and display what you would like others to see as "the perfect you". Whether you like to admit it or not, we all strive for this in our every day lives. It's just human nature.

The problems do not simply exist in our goal to become better people, because we should all strive for that! The problems occur when our codependence to others become so important to us that we sacrifice our own personal integrity to build a perfect "looking"pedestal for ourselves and we only look like we are better people to others.

Now, imagine that each of those elements or parts that make up the legs and foundation of the pedestal have a small integrity issue. Maybe one part was built on a lie or another was built there to forget a past experience after you ignored an important issue. Maybe another was built from a broken bridge or a neglected relationship, and so on... Soon, your pedestal is built with great structural problems and it is very weak. It becomes very difficult to stand on every single day. The possibility of falling off is real & will hurt to the point of making it almost impossible to get up and begin to rebuild.

The Sunshine Before The Storm

After the last drop of paint makes it to the wall, the fresh new hope of the future is evident. Lopez is covered head to toe in caramel apple colored paint splatters. Kylie is feeling good today despite the fact that her 5th IV has effectively failed this morning, on a Sunday. Unknowing of what's coming next regarding her and her unborn baby's health hasn't seemed to consume her as she bounces Lopez's four month old son on her lap. She makes him smile so big that it lights up the room brighter than the sunshine.

The painting is finished, baby's crib has been put together, and the custody papers have been filed. Regardless of what comes next, right at this moment and on this Sunday, all I can see is the beginning of a family in their new home that is full of sunshine today!

Nothing makes Kylie more excited these days more than a bowl of non dairy whipped topping & chocolate syrup, no matter how sick she is! (No doubt she is going to kill me for posting this pic of her)

The beginnings of a nursery!

❤️Give My Readers What They Want

Since reposting "Crazy Cake Saved My Broken Perfect", I have received many requests from my readers for the recipe & it brings me great happiness to share it with you all! *RECIPE BELOW* If you decide to give it a go, I would love to see your pics & emails!

It's true this recipe is completely Vegan (a  Vegan diet usually excludes anything that comes from an animal including dairy products). I have replaced the oil with applesauce on occasion in order to improve the nutritional value and it still turns out crazy perfect every time.

My kids, Kylie and Isaac were born with a metabolic disorder called Phenylketonuria (PKU) which causes them to lack an enzyme that digests one of the amino acids (Phenylalanine) that make up a protein. This cake only contains approximately 1.5 grams of protein per serving.

From what I understood about the history of this recipe, (which was also referred to as "Wacky Cake"or "Depression Cake") this cake came about during The Great Depression when resources such as dairy products were either hard to come by or people just couldn't afford to purchase them.

I would like to wish my youngest son, Junior a happy 8th birthday today! We have been so blessed to have been given the opportunity to adopt him in 2013 and make him a permanent part of our family. Enjoy your crazy cake today, son!! 

RECIPE:

Great Grandma Renken's Crazy Cake

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Stir together in a 13x9 inch unprepared pan:

3 Cups sifted all purpose flour 

2 Cups sugar

2 Teaspoons baking soda

1/2 Cup cocoa

1 Teaspoon salt

Make 3 wells with a spoon in the dry ingredients.

In the first well, put: 3/4 Cup vegetable oil. In the second well, put: 2 Teaspoons white vinegar. In the third well, put: 1 Teaspoon vanilla.

Pour 2 Cups of water all and mix well, but do not beat. 

*optional (but will add protein depending on what kind & how many you add) Dot with chocolate chips!

Bake at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes, leave in pan. Cool. Sprinkle with powdered sugar, then serve!

All About Lopez

Lopez is the father of my first grandchild & no he was definitely not the father I had imagined for my first grandchild! Kylie was born with pre conceived conditions of a would~be future husband. These conditions included an unconditional love that would hold her hair back while she threw up every fifteen minutes. These conditions did not include an ex-girlfriend that would demand police attention due to threats causing unnecessary fear that would ultimately cast a gloomy cloud on Kylie's sunny day. I have accepted the fact that she is angry as I know I would be too. 

Through all of this, I keep thinking that that no matter what he looks like he may be at first glance, his past happens to  validate his actions most of the time, in my opinion. At least the fact that he has a baby with another girl who happened to be over 20 when he was only 17 when his first son was born officially gives Lopez the benefit of my doubt!  My grand child's father has a bad past full of people taking advantage of him. I can confidently proclaim that he is done being taken advantage of! He is our family now, our son in law, and we love him. We also love his baby boy!

Lopez's plans for the future are great & his actions have supported his plans so far, which I will explain later! In the mean time, we are having the time of our lives preparing for our babies to finally come home!

Preparing for two babies: