Please have mercy!

Every night he might regret his own actions, but every night he is satisfied with what he has done.  If she still has convictions, one might wonder where this might be coming from! Texts misunderstood ... He said /  she said... Text taken from context makes me a liar or at least an excuse for one! 

Mean Girl

Naïveté is a result of oppression... and now has been established as fact! I can prove this & is as follows:

Yes! She is 18 ! She makes her own decisions... We are the only ones on this planet that armed her with that ammunition! Actually, I suppose I should   give others credit first:

1.  Her father whom showed how awesomely he could stop a car/17 year old potty mouth with his own brute strength... YOLO! A GOOD mother would have pressed charges!

2.  HER mother who had an awesome way of making me look like a liar, even though I have stuck up for her psychotic actions including leaving  her kids to the point of of contemplating child protection referral!

3.  HER so called best friend, whom had a birthday & agreed to wait for her to finish school commitments,then stood her up & blatantly lied to her face! 

4.  HER best friend's mother who HAS done everything in her power to prohibit her freedom, yet still make believe to be her shoulder to cry on simply because she has realized that her daughter can't keep her best friend based on integrity alone...

It's simply NO WONDER she is trying so hard to break free from the oppression, being naive annoys me & it's simply a matter of time before it annoys her too! Maybe I should make her feel better, maybe buy her a NOOK!

God, PLEASE F****** help me & her!

Once upon a time... In a land not far away, there was a girl... Who lived not that far away, it was HERE. Intentions from all sides seemed fair & square, but conflict usually felt like World War 4.  Regardless of the evolution of generation, experience, & an endless crazy love for those involved, I still question my own intentions... AM I DOING what is right in a messed up world I can not control!?

IT ENDS!!!!!!!!

Or -I find loop holes in my mind-those "what ifs, those maybes " those little things that question what one is doing...those things can change the situation, it changes your situation, it changes their situation, it CHANGES HER SITUATION! Holy shit! She needs me to change her situation!  Sorry little girl, I was sent to you! 

WARNING TO PARENTS OF TEENS LOOKING FOR WORK!!

April 20, 2013
As any parents would be, we were absolutely thrilled when our oldest daughter reported that she had landed her first official job. She would be 17 years old in a couple of weeks and she is reliable and hard working. Along with food handler’s license in tow, she is a valuable asset!
Her astounding accomplishments and assets stopped short on her second day on the job when the local Middleton restaurant owner called thirty minutes before her third shift and quote, “I am going to have to let you go, because of a conflict between you and the girl that is training you.” She was upset and sobbed over the news, as she had sacrificed some other commitments in her life to put all of her focus and energy in working hard at her new job. Although we were truly sympathetic to her sadness, we were also very disturbed to discover the details around her so-called “training”.
It’s unfair that a 10 year old was in charge of training our 17 year old daughter. Had she or my husband and I been disclosed this information before, she never would have accepted the job. It is unethical to pass blame for a mistake onto others as the 10 year old had when she “tattled” to her father, especially since that is how she trained her. It was disgusting to drive through for a milkshake with my husband and watch her 10 year old trainer being condescending and rolling her eyes when our daughter had a simple question regarding procedures involving the drive- through. Most importantly, laws are most likely being broken often in this particular establishment as Federal and Idaho child labor laws are in place to protect a 10 year old from having what is obviously way too much responsibility in a job, regardless if their parents own the establishment.
Despite all of the legal and moral issues involving our daughter’s unethical termination, and other’s same accounts as to why they would never even fill out an application there due to similar experiences, it is just simply heartbreaking that she was fired from her first job. She will always keep that memory in her heart. It’s shameful and unwarranted, and could have been avoided. As parents, we would like other parents to be mindful when allowing your teens to take a job at an establishment in Middleton that does not give any care or mind when creating bad experiences for all our teens’ first jobs. Stop giving them all opportunities if every single one of them is set up for failure to begin with! That is NOT how we are raising our kids and it’s a shame that a 10 year old girl has the power to do so!

Crazy Cake Saved My Broken Perfect

She weighed in at 5 pounds, 6 ounces. Kylie was a beautiful baby girl and perfect in every way. In just a few short days after we took her home, a phone call rang in from the hospital that would change our lives forever.
A routine newborn screening would reveal that Kylie had a metabolic disorder called Pheynlketonuria or "PKU". This tiny piece of information ensued a parental emotional roller coaster ride with mountains to climb that had no end in site.

At first, we were literally inundated with information. We would need to meet with specialists from out of state, nutritionists, rare drug representatives, child developmental specialists, disibility case managers, and finally...we would still need to mourn the loss of our "perfect" newborn baby girl. How would this change our plans for a family... how will this change HER future? After all, we can't even celebrate her birthdays with a traditional birthday cake for God's sake, because her diet would consist strictly of vegan choices for the rest of her life. I could just imagine Kylie blowing the candle out on top of her first birthday cake, then taking it away from her for all of us to eat, and then handing her a carrot instead.
It didn't take long to realize that we weren't alone in dealing with this. The first time we took her to the Children's Specialty Center, we understood clearly as we noticed others that were far worse off than we ever were. As many parents of children with disibilities experience, we began to accept this "card" we had been dealt, and start thinking of it as a challenge instead of a problem. Our perfect newborn baby girl was still just as perfect as she was the day she was born, she was just more special than we had initially thought her to be.

In many different ways, support came pouring in.On occasion, family and friends would show their support by sending special vegan recipes that we could prepare for Kylie that she would enjoy and remain true to her health. As her first birthday approached, I grew more and more anxious whether or not I would find a cake recipe that would work. One day, my husband's mother sent a beloved family recipe that she had remembered her mother making for them as kids. It was loved by all, because it was simply "crazy" that a cake could be made without eggs or milk and still taste amazing! As I followed the hand written and weathered, old-fashioned recipe, I was hopeful, but realistic. To my surprise, the finished cake tasted better than any birthday cake I had ever made with eggs. Our perfect one year old had a perfect birthday as she blew the "one" candle out on top of her perfect birthday cake!

Thanks to that beloved family recipe, we came to the realization that Kylie's disorder would not be an up hill battle in our lives. We would come across "speed bumps" every now and then, that we are capable of handling with the love of family and friends. Not only can we deal with all of life's "speed bumps", we can even have our "crazy" birthday cake, and eat it too!!

Anxieties of a Mother

As her junior year is in full swing, my anxiety is growing more and more intense on a daily basis. Every time I  turn around, there is another paper to sign regarding college prep for one reason or another. I constantly find myself in a paralyzing fear of her being more unprepared for the real world than I ever was.

She isn't like me at all even though I gave birth to her, my first child 16 & 1/2 years ago. I had my whole life planned out from age 5. I guess I expected her to know exactly what she wanted to do with her life, so you could imagine my horror when her dad and I asked her what college she was thinking about, and what she would major in. That one and only question that a kid will be asked more times than they can count throughout their childhood, "What do you want to be when you grow up?", and her answer was, ugh... "I don't know". What?  You have had 16 & 1/2 years to think about it, to dream about it... seriously?.. YOU DON'T KNOW???

Then, what she said next rang through my body like a lightening bolt..."Well, my first choice would be to move to Dallas and join the Dallas Cheerleaders, as dance has always been my true passion." Realistic much? As those words hit my already sweltering, hot ears, I could literally feel my blood pressure rise, and before I knew it, I was yelling and she was in tears. Realistic much? She might as well move to Africa and feed all the hungry children with her lawn mowing money. Seriously, did I shelter her so much that she actually believes that this is even a possibility for her? 

Stepping Off the Pedestal: Important Metaphors of Life

Stepping Off the Pedestal: Important Metaphors of Life: I had almost successfully removed the pedestal from underneath me that I had built there.  The pedestal that the perfect ME resides most of ...